The origin of Richard Simmons

Richard Simmons was motivated to get in shape when a note was left on his car that said "Fat people die young. Please don't die."

Hmm.

Does my seeing this mean that God is giving me a quest?

What would happen, though, if I put it on a family car or a shared car or something, and one of the owners was someone who was battling anorexia? I suppose that I could spy on people for weeks on end though, to make sure this wasn't the case. It would be more fun to spy on them afterwards, though. I'm imagining possible scenarios right now. This is one of those things that would have very different effects on different people.

I should do that to Tyra Banks' car. She'd have a show about it that would consist of ranting at the audience and projecting huge pictures of her thighs on a screen behind her and yelling "YOU LIKE THIS?! YOU LIKE THIS?! THIS IS WHAT A REAL WOMAN LOOKS LIKE. LEARN TO LIKE IT." Then, she would have some larger women on her show to have them talk about life as a larger woman. She would nod for about three seconds at each one and then yell, "You go girl! Yeah!' and clap and pat them on the back.

What a wonderful woman. She gives me strength in these dark times.